Sometimes the mystery can not be solved

Dude, God is so cool!! Sometimes I wonder why, but He just is..It is so amazing!! In the last 3 months my life as not been the greatest, coming home was like woah...and it was like someone had taken a rope and pulled on it right as i was getting ready to walk over it and tripped me up, knocking me off my feet..and i have been trying to get back up for some time..I have cried myself to sleep and hated waking up in the morning..it seemed like i could not get myself out of here, for whatever reason it was, i am not sure. Maybe i didn't want too..it seemed like all the stuff that i had learned at the school, i had thrown out the window without a second thought. I wanted to run back to the school, to toronto. It was my safe place. Only when i did go back it hit me that it wasn't ever going to be the same. Now i am not telling you this for your pity or anything else..i am only telling you this to tell you what God has done and how He has done it. This past week, we had a 27/7 prayer and fasting. Praise God for the rain cuz i didn't have to work at all last week..So at first i was going to blow off the fasting part..but then i realized that i really needed to do it...so i fasted sugar..for only like 3 days, ate one meal a day and drank a lot of water!! I did cheat one day, but only because Jon and i went out to dinner at this amazing italian restaurant and they brought out dessert and i had to have some, but other than that..i was good!! God really showed up, the week before this, i was in the prayer room and just soaking and i could feel His arms wrap around me, and he gave me this vision with a baby. I am thinking my little sister's..it was so cute. Last week, i came to church and just read the bible. Like zephaniah, and all those ones that no one really reads, but you could see God's grace, and mercy in these books, and hope for the future and all that jazz...it was so amazing..I cried, repented, cried, prayed, and today, which is sunday, was one of the best days i have had in so long..i just worshipped at church, gave all that i had into it..cried out to God and then we had testimonies and i cried even more..It was so wonderful!! God like totally rocks my world..it's like hope was renewed and i found him..i wanted him so bad this past week, that i couldn't not look for him..It was so good.. The sun has begun to shine amongst the darken clouds..and I know that it can only get better.. How does he have such patience for us? How does He love us, even when we hide in a corner hoping no one will find you, he peeks His head around and says,"peek-a-boo!". He brushes you off, and says,"Are you ready? Lets go!!" I don't understand this mystery, but I love Him for it..He is so cool!! I love Him so much!! anyway, i just wanted to share that with you all!!